15.March 2020 Kampala, Uganda
It has been a week or so that I now have to accept the reality of the effects of corona virus on a very personal level. Everything I’ve worked for over the last months is no longer my reality.
Over the past few days I could not really wrap my head around it. I tried to relax my mind, almost pretending I am on holiday. After all, I have a beautiful home, food in the fridge, Internet, good books, time with my son, friends and family all over the world I can chat to and lots of recipes I always wanted to cook. Sounds like I could finally detox and relax, something I had been daydreaming about for a while. Now this is my chance-I’ve tried to convince myself! No work and rent paid until May.
May, oh May sounds like the promise of a new world! The illusions that the world, my world simply goes back to normal. NORMAL. Normalcy, in the past almost seemed like something I looked at as being boring. Always looking for the next travel opportunity, the next project, the next tour, the next whatever just simply the next. Now, normalcy sounds like the sweetest words one could whisper into my ears.
I am longing for just that short visit, that strong hug, that short moment of greeting and holding hands. Only that. Not too much to ask for one would think. As I am thinking of my loneliness an Email of the German Embassy is popping up in my Inbox. One flight this week going to Amsterdam. At one point there might not be any possibility at least for some time to go home and visit my family. I never thought this could be my reality. I positioned my self as a global citizen, traveling as I please and as I WANT.
My family in Germany, in particular my parents, are almost 80 years old. They belong to the risk group and are now in total isolation. Alone, just the two of them. They usually life an active life, with lots of visitors and kids in the house. Now my brother does the shopping and puts it in-front of the door. Just the two of us, becomes now a whole different meaning. Not only for me.. I worry about them catching the virus, but even more to actually get sick because of total isolation. If I can feel that there is nothing more I want than that one short visit, that strong hug, that short moment of greeting and holding hands-what must they feel? The world has changed. Have we changed?
Oh May, can we just get to May and wake up to the old world order? I have always been a hopeless romantic, but now, I don’t know which words best describe the level right above hopeless romantic, but I feel the only important thing left is to be sure to have my family close, being surrounded by good friends and to have that one person who will think of me early in the morning before the sun rises and wakes me up with the good morning message and sends me off to bed after checking how I am and how my day went.
There is still hope that this could be my reality, one day!
Written by Roberta Wagner